Tuesday, 22 June 2010.
Seriously,

How I wish I was thrown to somewhere; somewhere where trust doesn't exist, where there's no emotions, where there's no stress, where there's no friendship, where there's no one misunderstanding every thing that I do, where there's no one controlling what I think, where there's no emotions controlling my life, where there's no competition, where there's no conflict and somewhere I could safely shut my eyes and there's no troubles.

How I wish I have someone who truly understands me, who would be my listening ear, who could keep my secret, who could make my day with just that one sentence/smile, who I could really trust, who supports me in every area, who would hug me tightly anytime and say : "I'm here for you."

Yes, I'm a bitch ruining everyone's life and spoiling all your happiness. I'm trying to be independent, and be someone who coul coop everything to herself without feeling miserable, who could bite her flesh to numb all the emotional pain surging in her, to be someone who is able to tackle and face the world bravely on her own without the support of anyone.

Worst moments of my 15 years of life. Yes, I'm sad, I'm disappointed, I feel like slapping myself. But who would care? No one.

No one would be willing to shed a tear for me even if I laid dead in front of anyone. No one would even notice.

Boyfriends? Best friends? Good friends? You care? Promises? Devotion? Fun? Happiness? Memories? Smiles? Laughter? Going crazy? Yes I remember, every single moment was memories I truly treasured, memories I didn't want to lose. But do you all? Do you all?

I may look like someone who's trying to snatch power. Well, let me prove you wrong. BULLSHIT. I don't even care if I'm just a normal person with no power, I don't mind being the follower. What I've achieved is due to the hardwork I've given throughout the 2 years and 6 months I've been in Unity Secondary. So should I stop working hard?

All I want is someone who cares, someone who understands.

Youknowwhoyouare, I need you right now. Just tomorrow, TOMORROW, life will be better ... (Tears drop). Everything's just so fake ... I need your shoulders and your consoles, something that others can't give.

Fuck my life. No one understands.
Posted by P.Yuhuiz. on 12:00 am