Thursday, 14 October 2010.
End of End-of-Year.

Singapore Youth Festival Opening Ceremony 2010 :'( ...

My End-of-Year has ended. I should be happy and screaming when the invigilator says: "You're dismissed." But my Amath was really screwed and yeah, my EYE ended miserably. My mind went blank when I saw log and ln, although I practiced for it the day before -.- ... What's worse was that the linear graph was ln ! Yes, screwed up. Out of 2 hours 30 minutes, 2 damn hours was spent on the first and second page, leaving only damn 30 minutes left for my last page (which is all trigo and graph drawing plus graph sketching. 30 minutes was all I have. I began to panic and my hands turned cold, shaking as I stared at the question. I ALMOST cried out when I saw the graph question man ! Wanted to skip that question but after I found out that that question is made up of 7 marks, I attempted that question. Yeah, anyhow. I was practically shifting all the terms all over the place, anyhow ln anyhow shift down shift up. Whatthehell. Didn't even bother to draw gradient 'cause I really had no time. I got so nervous that my y=|cos x| maximum point became 2 ! Miss Lee, please burn my paper.

I wanted to do a proper post in the afternoon but I practically no mood for ANYTHING. Wanted to sleep but my mind's still high on caffeine so I didn't sleep. Even till now, I feel energetic. When I slept at 12am everymorning and oke up at 0530am to study and recap -.- Mad! How to survive Olevels -.-

Now that I'm reminded of Olevels, I'm taking it in approximately 1 year later ! WHATTHEHELL .___. Time flies ! Stop and let me catch up !

So anyway I want to dedicate this post to my wonderful four ladies up there ! my MYMJJ ! Marissa, Yuhui, Minyi, Jieying and Jiaying ! <3 !

These four wonderful ladies are my SYFOC mates ! And best part: We ony knew each others' existence during the last week of training ._.

First training was really alien to me. I don't know people around me ! Crap only. Cadet inspectors called us to place our bags according to our areas, so while placing my bag, I knew Jiaying from BPGHS ! Although we aren't that close, a few trainings later, we became close already. When falling in in a very rushed manner, I fell in beside Marissa ! The first SYFOC friend I knew ! :> First training was obviously the most torturing one so we cursed and swear together first. Subsequent trainings we began sticking to each other like glue :p.

Then, there was one training when Marissa didn't come :( Me the emo penguin knew Jiaying since then ^^ ! Then we began to frequently talk and we knew each other more !!

&&& ! When we were having rifle drills once, Minyi fell in beside me ! Being like a blur and gong sotong, I marched with the same hands and same legs haha WTH ! Minyi saw that I was having difficulty and she whispered beside me (first sentence we exchanged!) : "SHOOT OUT YOUR LEFT LEG FIRST !" Was giggling when she said that, but that sentence worked wonders ! Thanks Minyi ! What's more, she would constantly ask "You okay?" "Need help?" to ensure that I would master rifle drills well! Memories ...

Oh! & when I make mistakes in my drills, Sir Romzi will shout from the top (shit ! Forgot what is it called alr ! ) : " GO EAGLE, GO EAGLE ! " Hahaha ! 'Cause I refused to tell him my name and he saw "eagle" on my yellow PE shirt. So, I became a bird.

Trainings at Home Team was dry. After one month's worth of training, SYFOC'10 contingents began to train at Singapore Indoor Stadium ! That was the most amazing period of SYFOC ! Before that period, I only knew Marissa. We arent that close to Jiaying and Minyi yet. :/ Then, for the FIRST SIS TRAINING NIGHT on the way back to HTA, Jiaying suddenly came to me and :"I love you ... Are you willing to be my girlfriend? I am a les ! " HAHA! I just stared at her and stun ._. Since she and Minyi were sitting in front of Marissa and I, we began chatting and we grew very close!

Next training, Jieying and Minyi brought breakfast ! So Marrisa and I ordered from them and we ate on our way to SIS although it's not allowed (like we care).

Jiaying began to grew close with us, and MYMJ became MYMJJ ! (Y)(Y)(Y) ! & our daily routine each day was:
"Meet 0645 at the outside the busstop at HTA ah ! " Then we would make our way to the toilet at the basement and take our time to change into our Half-U, complaining how sleepy we are, what time we slept last night, all those all those ! After changing, we would fall in in front of the two pillars at the entrance

Then we would march to the carpark and when we are sent into the bus, the 5 of us would purpoely walk DAMN SLOWLY to get the small but empty bus ! Other people snatch large bus we take small bus and the seats at the back is all ours ! then we would begin chit chatting and began eating our breads !

After which, we would make fun of Sir Jiahao, Sir (idkwhatname) and Sir Ashwin ! Especially giving the -____- stare to Sir Ashwin when he say cold jokes ! HAHA WTH.

Upon reaching SIS, training ! Jieying and I will SMS each other when Ma'ams not looking and complain about the people beside us :x Haha ! & we would make fun of Poh Lin when she imitates Anita Sarawak, a famous person in the SIS poster ! ;X

During lunch breaks and dinner breaks, Jieying and I would volunteer to take our lunches and run (with our boots) to the logistic booth ! Then we would make fun of the CIs there and laugh and joke with Mr Chng ! (Y). Then we would carry the gross and oily handles of our lunch boxes up idk how many flights of stairs and began giving everything to everyone ! Sometimes everyone just take and we would be left with nothing :(. So, we are clever enough to call Marissa, Minyi and Jiaying to help us chope all our food, jelly and water first ;x ! This also applies to all our snackpacks ! :D

After training, we would eat our dinner in the bus ! With the seat as our table and our butts on the bus floor, we would enjoy our dinner on the bus! We would have heart to heart talks, and enjoy the beautiful Singapore river area scenary. Neverthelessly, we would change out of our Half-U in the bus ! :)

Then, when we return rifles, we would complain how tired we are etcetc :/ Walking out of HTA, we would bid farewell when either of our bus comes and say "0645 meet at busstop ah! " HAHA ! When we reach home, we would text each other, calling each other to cheer up and jiayou for tomorrow etc ! Great memories !

I really miss my SYFOC mates :/ I want time to rewind :( ...
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Anyway, I wanna thanks my panda, Pamela, Lynn and Liyee esp for helping out in my studies via twitter ! MANY THANKS TO THOSE WHO HELPE ME TOO !!! LOVE !
Posted by P.Yuhuiz. on 8:47 pm

Saturday, 9 October 2010.
Happiness.

"If you're trapped between your feelings & what other people think is right.. always go for whatever makes you happy." - @TheLoveStories #TLS

No, it's an impossible task; especially when that particular thing makes the other party sad although you're happy. That defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

It's all about forking out willingly, Yuhui. Forking out and sacrificing everything at no cost, and expecting nothing back in return. Not even slight happiness. Yes, you're willing to give up everything for that person; but that doesn't mean the other party have to do that too. Because remember, you forked out willingly from the start. No one forced you.

Now, all I can do is fake a smile and pretend that I'm happy, extremely happy, with life. I don't wanna to be somebody I'm not; but the consequences of being sad threatens me to be happy.

Yuhui is a happy girl, a happy optimistic strong girl who's able to tackle everything. Even if everything is messed up and ruined, I'll clean up and say it's perfect, covering the flaws. Even if a porcelain plate is broken, I'll find all measures to glue it back and use it again, thinking that it's condition is still as perfect as it was. Even if a doll is torn, with all it's cotton flying all over the place, I'll stuff dust into it and it'll still be my greatest companion. Even if perfect truth turns out to be a facade, I'll be the only dumb one floating in that truth.

Yeah, that's why I'm happy. Almost all the time. And I'm enjoying bits of it.
Posted by P.Yuhuiz. on 2:37 pm